This quote speaks to one of the deepest struggles we face as human beings: the tension between external expectations and our authentic selves. From childhood, we are shaped by family beliefs, cultural norms, and social pressures that tell us who we should be—how we should act, speak, succeed, and even feel. Over time, these expectations can become a heavy mask, disconnecting us from our true identity and creating a life that pleases others but fails to nourish our own spirit.
Letting go of who we think we’re “supposed” to be is not an act of rebellion; it is an act of liberation. It requires courage to question the roles we’ve adopted and to acknowledge the parts of ourselves we have silenced for acceptance. Embracing who we truly are means choosing honesty over perfection, presence over performance, and self-compassion over self-judgment. It invites us to recognize our strengths, vulnerabilities, and unique gifts without apology.
When we align with our authentic selves, we step into a life that feels lighter, more meaningful, and more grounded. We begin to create relationships built on truth rather than image, make decisions that reflect our values, and develop confidence from within rather than from the approval of others. Ultimately, Brown’s message reminds us that authenticity is not a destination—it is a daily practice of returning to ourselves with patience, love, and the belief that we are enough just as we are.
Gratitude isn’t just a polite “thank you.” It’s a powerful attitude that can transform how we feel — and how we live. When we take time to reflect on the good in our lives, we give our minds a break from negativity and start training ourselves to notice what truly matters. Research across psychology and physical health shows that regularly practicing gratitude can reduce stress, lower the risk of depression, and improve overall mood and well-being. It can also help us sleep better, take better care of our bodies, and even support cardiovascular health.
On a deeper level, gratitude strengthens our relationships. By acknowledging the kindness of others — or appreciating what we have — we nurture empathy and connection. Gratitude reminds us we are part of something bigger than ourselves. Most importantly, gratitude is a habit — one we can cultivate. Whether through journaling, a nightly reflection, or simply pausing to appreciate a small blessing, daily gratitude quietly rewires our mind toward positivity, resilience, and meaningful living.
Why not try it today? Take a minute now to reflect on something you’re grateful for — it could change your whole day.
Growing up, Mia always felt a quiet emptiness that she couldn’t quite name. Her childhood, although surrounded by the familiarity of home, was often marked by an absence of warmth that she couldn’t ignore. While other children seemed to have an easy, instinctive bond with their parents, Mia struggled. The love she sought from her mother never seemed to materialize in the way she needed. Her mother’s love was distant, inconsistent, and, at times, almost detached. Mia’s needs were often overshadowed by her mother’s own emotional distance and struggles, leaving Mia to fend for herself emotionally, trying, and failing, to feel a deep connection with the one person who should have been her closest confidante.
From an early age, Mia observed the lack of nurturing in her relationship with her mother. There was no warm embrace after a long day, no encouraging words when she was faced with challenges, and no validation of her feelings. Her mother seemed preoccupied, focused more on her own world than on Mia’s needs. As Mia grew older, the void only deepened. In school, while her peers ran to their mothers for comfort, Mia learned to retreat into herself, holding her emotions close. She carried a quiet ache, never feeling the unconditional love that she saw in others. When her friends spoke about their mothers with warmth and fondness, Mia would smile politely, but inside, the longing was unbearable.
This absence of love from her biological parents—especially from her mother—cast a long shadow on Mia’s adult relationships. She sought validation in every romantic partner, searching desperately for the affection and approval she never received as a child. Each relationship began with hope, but soon, her unmet needs would surface. She would feel disconnected or misunderstood, unable to truly trust the love she was being given. She constantly questioned whether she was worthy of love, a habit she’d unconsciously learned growing up. This insecurity would often lead to tension, arguments, and eventually, heartbreak. She couldn’t help but wonder, “Why can’t I feel loved the way others do?”
As Mia navigated her relationships, the pattern was always the same. She would pour herself into her partners, hoping they would fill the void left by her mother, only to feel unsatisfied, lost, and uncertain. The cycle of trying to heal wounds with external validation never worked. Mia’s struggle wasn’t about finding the right person; it was about finding a way to love herself when the love she craved from her parents was never forthcoming.
Mia’s story isn’t uncommon. Many people, especially those who didn’t receive the love and support they needed from their biological parents, struggle with deep feelings of inadequacy and seek to fill that void with external sources of love. However, Mia needs to realize that her healing doesn’t depend on changing her parents, but on changing her relationship with herself. Her mother may never be the nurturing, warm figure she dreams of. And the truth is, Mia can’t force her mother to love her in the way she needs or deserves.
The most crucial step Mia must take is to accept that her parents—especially her mother—may never be able to offer the love she wants. It’s a painful realization, but it’s essential for her emotional freedom. Mia must let go of the hope that they will suddenly become the loving, attentive parents she longs for. Instead, she needs to learn to love herself fully and to heal the wounds of her past. Self-love isn’t easy, but it’s the only love that will truly fill the emptiness. She must surround herself with people who uplift and support her, not to replace her parents, but to build a chosen family of love and care.
By letting go of the unrealistic expectation that her parents will change, Mia can finally free herself from the cycle of seeking validation from others. Only then can she move forward into healthier, more fulfilling relationships. True love—starting with self-love—will help Mia heal and embrace the life she deserves.
Do you know a Mia? Are you a Mia? Do you have an advice for Mia?
One day, I asked a friend why we cannot discuss our mental health as we talk about diabetes, blood pressure, asthma… he said: “because none of those can cause you to hurt yourself or others.” That made me think oppositely. So we must talk about our mental health more than anything 🤷🏾‍♀️ because it affects the “sick person” and the whole family, community, state, country…
Hi, I am a Nephtalie. I have demons who come to visit once a while. But the universe gave me tools, friends, authors, strangers to help me fight them all. And today, I can proudly say suicide will never be an option!
Please, for your welfare and your loved one sake, talk to your friends. Seek professional help. As they can manage their asthma, we can control our mental health with the right guidance. Reach out to your friends. You never know the “strong ones” might be concealing their weakness.
“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.” – Fred Rogers
Would you believe me if I tell you everything will be okay? Would you stop crying if I tell you the situation that makes you think life is worthless will make perfect sense in the future, and you will be grateful for it? Please, I am the living proof!
I was rejected by almost every family member when I was 17. You’re probably asking why? What did you do?
I stood up against my predator.
And would have done the same thing again today regardless of all the awful things that happened in my life because I didn’t let him take a piece of me.
Today I am grateful for my story because it makes me ME. My friends think that I am strong because I didn’t/ don’t let go. But, I believe that I am just a strong woman who knows her weakness. I took some selfish decisions because I wasn’t strong enough for the reality.
Here I am today, right where I belong with my lovely tow kids who are giving me every reason to continue this journey!
Please remember you are going through this because you have what it takes to turn it into the best chapter of your story.
If you know me, or read my first post, you know how my family’s dynamic is one of my biggest trigger however, over this weekend I realized as much that I miss being raise by my parents, and as much as I miss knowing there is someone who loves me unconditionally. Family is not my trigger at all…
Trigger, to me, is that thing that reminds me of my demons. It’s that thing that my demons use to bully me.
My family is not my trigger. My indiscipline, my lack of responsibility, my lack of self-control, my lack of routine are my triggers/demons.
I have blamed “not knowing the love of my mom or dad” as the cause of all my issues. It took me one zoom meeting and good energy to realize that MY BEHAVIOR IS MY TRIGGER/DEMON. Many clinical Psychologists will disagree with me because similar to FREUD “they believe that events in our childhood can have a significant impact on our behavior as adults.”
Nevertheless, I think – As an adult, what do we do when we realized that we are on the wrong path? How do we proceed to get our life on the track that we want?- I am sure that the moment we can ask ourselves those two questions, we can start the healing process.
I don’t know what you think your trigger is but, I advise you to look deep into what prompt your emotions out of control; since, it is the first step into getting better.
Glad that I am on my healing journey. It will take me some times, but I believe I will get there. “Wish me luck 🤗
It is always in my heart to thank publicly the people who played an essential role in helping me become the best version of myself. Side joke, I was waiting for my victory speech to do so, then I realized every day deserve a victory speech; because today means that we won the battles of yesterday. In the center of the tornado of my life, at 17, many people came to my rescue, however, there were four rescuers who stood out, and today I want to let them know the role they play in my life.
Leo Devastey,he gave me another chance to experience life. He literally saved my life by giving me my first paying job. When you’re 17 without a mother, father, nor a godmother in a country like Haiti, being able to have a job is a privilege. My experience as a radio DJ and news anchor was the genesis of becoming Nephtalie. The time that I spent at Radio Phare helped me become a bright young woman. I was able to carry a conversation with some well-educated people who believed that I was one of them while I was still in high school. I thank you Leo, and I will be forever grateful! You are the first person that shows me that there can be light in the darkness.
Gesner Mervilus, I call him dad because he helped me like a father could have helped his daughter. My meeting with Gesner was pure coincidence or faith, thus, he made an essential impact in my life. Thank you, Gesner, for all the effort you put into getting me the job, even it did not work out, but I know that you’ve tried with all your heart. You’re the second light in my darkness.
Alain Julsaint,I am literally in tears right now because he is not around anymore, and I am not sure that he knew how his life make mine better. Alain Julsaint was the person who shaped my confidence, he made me believed that I had what it takes. With a smile, he said to me once “you can do this” when I was having second thought about my ability to finish high school while I was working full time. His concept of the education system in Haiti allows me to finish high school, and eventually to be the person I am today. I thank you Alain, and I will be forever grateful. You’re the third light in my darkness. “Un petit bey bey the loin Mrs. Julsaint.”
Jean Diderot Abellard, I still get emotional every time I think about what he did for me. He saw something in me that I did not even see myself. In June 2005, he made the decision to help me like I was his little sister. Still, wonder why did he help me? Because the people who were supposed to be there for me were playing “No Show.” I will be forever grateful for your gesture. You’re the fourth light in my darkness.
Thank you, Leo, Gesner, Alain, and Diderot I am still working on making you proud.
A bold and golden thank you to every single people who had the opportunity to help me but, did not. Thank you, to all of you who were cheering at my failure. Thank you, because your attitude and rejection gave me the strength to fight in the darkest, and weakest moments of my life. When things seem impossible, I do not bend down nor declare forfeit because of you.
Knowing that you were waiting for me to fail gave me more determination to keep fighting.
So as much as I thank and love the people that: embraced me, listened to me, guided me, supported me, encouraged me, reminded me of my goals when I was down, reminded me that I can succeed; Is as much that I thank and love the one who rejected me and still hate me. Because, maybe, just maybe without their resentment I would not have fought as hard that I did to get in the road that will make me the Nephtalie I want to be.
One of the most important thing that I learn in my journey of becoming a better version of myself is the fact that you need to know your priorities and stick to them. Keep in mind your priorities are temporary. For example, today your priority could be to get a job and one year later your priority is to get a raise or a promotion. I am a core fan of the TV show Grey’s Anatomy, and I am very proud to say I watched every single episode from Meredith meeting Derek at the bar to April Married Mathew. (Sorry if you haven’t watched the last episode of session 14.) Thursday night used to be “The night” from 8 to 11 PM, because I also watch scandal and HTGAWM, nothing else matter but ABC. Now ask me what did I gain from watching every single episode of Greys Anatomy? How did the show change my life for the better?
The only thing I “gain” is that crazy conversation that I can have with another fan and if you’re not a fan it will be impossible to understand what we are talking about. Or maybe Grey’s Anatomy might make its fan miserable if they are still searching for their “person” “Christina” or “Meredith.” If you’re not a fan don’t try to understand that last sentence. It is just to tell you all those hours I spent whacking the show were in a sense a waste of my time. I could have used it to read the 5 Second Rule of Mel Robbins. Don’t get me wrong, we need some “down” time in our lives, some watch sport, other watch reality show, and me, I watch Grey’s Anatomy. Now the question is, do you make watching your show or sport your priority? If I get a job offer that requires me to work every Thursday from 6 PM to 12 AM would I reject it? Just because it is the time that I watch my favorite show.
The other day in a conversation with a friend, she told me even though she was supposed to study/review for her final exam she couldn’t help herself from watching the Royal Wedding. This statement is the classic example of someone who does not know her priority. Why didn’t she save the program on her DVR if watching the whole thing was that important? Why having a good grade for her final exam was less important than watching Meghan and Harry getting married? What did she GAIN from watching the wedding? The answers to all those questions are simple she doesn’t have a priority.
Yes, we need to relax and do things that we are interested, however, those things cannot come before the things that are going to bring us to the next level of our lives. Do the math and ask yourself what you will gain from choosing this task over another one. Set your priority and stick to them regardless.
“The mark of a great man is one who knows when to set aside the important things in order to accomplish the vital ones.”
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
Human being have a lot in common including IMPATIENT we can’t wait to see result, we want what we want now. I always wonder why are we so impatient because for example, if you believe in the creation theory “God who is the most powerful of all” took six days to create the universe. According to the way that the Bible describes God he probably could have created the universe in one second “if it was his will.” If God took six days to create the universe how much time do you think we need to create our happiness? Why are we so impatient to see result?
If you believe in the Evolution Theory, you have no reason to be impatient at all because “the theory of evolution encompasses the well-established scientific view that organic life on our planet has changed over long periods of time and continues to change by a process known as natural selection.” LONG PERIOD OF TIME, meaning if you believe in that theory you must be the most patient person ever, you have no choice but to be patient, you know it takes time before getting from one state to the next one.
Being patient doesn’t mean you are lazy it just means you are doing the work but you know you won’t see result the next day.
We need to cultivate patient we need to know that result take time. Sometimes we look at someone and we wish we were that person, not even knowing that person story. Maybe if you start putting the work today you might achieve way more than the person you wish you were.
“It took Patience, persistence and perspiration to make an unbeatable combination for success.” Napoleon Hill
We usually give credit to people who are successful, but ignore those that are on their own road to success forgetting that those successful people were once beginners as well.
Maybe this is what is stopping you from starting your journey to the “great life” health, wealth, and happiness. If you do not take time to know someone else’s path you will think it just happened that they are where they are. For example, if you want to be the next LeBron James, one of the best basketball players who many refer as The King, and you do not know his story, do not even know how many hours he puts every day into practice, you will never be able to follow his footsteps.
We put successful people on a pedestal and that, my friend, is what is stopping you from starting your journey to success. We have a tendency to think successful people are geniuses. Do not get me wrong, most of them are, but I also believe we are all a genius. Oprah Winfrey is a genius but so is J.K. Rowling, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Grant Cardone, and Jeff Bezos. They are all geniuses in their own way.
We need to know their path and their routine, if you ever read a biography you’ll realize most almost every successful person has a routine, things that they do in a regular basis that lead them to their success. One thing that they all have in common is improving themselves every day in the field they are in. My advice to you if you are really serious about your success you must work every day to become the best at what you do.
You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.John C. Maxwell
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